I don’t want to wake up. I like sleeping, because then I don’t have to hold back tears all the time, and I don’t have to think about being alone. The other night, I got a taste of having nowhere to go when I need someone, and how much is really hurts.
She left for Basic Training today. I should be happy for this huge decision she made, but I cannot force myself to feel something I obviously do not feel. I know that deep down, if she suddenly changed her mind and didn’t go, I would be disappointed in her. It would be something I would do, and I know she isn’t that type of person.
I was watching her walk back to her room last night, knowing that next time I see her cute little bob, and smiling face, she would be a different person. She might act like the same Tonzie, and smile like the same Tonzie, and like the same things as my Tonzie, but I know she won’t be the same Tonzie. I don’t believe you can go through something like Boot Camp and come back the same. That is the whole point of Basic Training- to break your individual down and build it back up the way the Navy wants it.
I know plenty of people go to Boot Camp all the time, but I guess people just forget the people who love and miss their friends and family who are away…
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